Scribbles of a hopeful soul

Is there a word for that feeling when all the hang-ups of the past, the terror of the present, and the uncertainty of the future collide?
Is there a word to describe how I feel when I feel so much?
I wish there was, so I would just say it in one word without going through all the details that threatened my almost bursting heart to beat out of my chest.
Can I just shed a tear, and can You just understand that it’s my heart I’m shedding?
You know the depths of my heart, can You just hold it together for me so I wouldn’t drown in its abyss?
I know You wouldn’t leave my side, but can you just affirm me of your presence?
I know You wouldn’t loosen Your hold on me, but I’m afraid I might just loosen mine anytime.
Would You not give up on me?
Would You make Your grip even tighter when I try to wriggle myself free?
Would You help me look up to You where I could channel all I’m feeling to its proper perspective?
I want to wallow and drown in what I’m feeling, would You please give me the grace to rise above this?
I thought that faith would make the pain hurt less. It doesn’t.
But faith, gives me hope. And hope is what I’m holding into.
I know I didn’t have to ask these of You. Because I believe You would.

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