Redefined Perfectionism

I am a Christian.

But before I go on, let me tell you that this write-up is not about religion. This is about some noteworthy lessons I learned from my pursuit of following Christ and adhering to His teachings. As a Christian, I have time and time again fall short of the standard that Christ has set; of the standard that is perfection. But these shortcomings will not stop a true Christian from being a Christian. We do not sit in despair of our sins and failures, but instead we repent and strive hard to be better each and every day. We know that it isn’t possible for a sinner like us to become like Christ, but it does not stop us from trying anyway. It does not stop us from following His examples and teachings, just to be like Him in the few points where we could imitate Him.
This for me is what adhering to perfection is like. We will never be perfect in this imperfect world. Our biases and perception will hinder us at becoming perfect. But it should not stop us from doing our best. Otherwise, it would only make us lenient in the quality of the things that we do. Worse, it will give us an excuse for making a mistake or accepting a work that is good enough, or being too afraid because we are most likely to fail anyway.

I have learned that lesson the hard way when I was just about 2 years in Kyocera, and was just starting to take a leadership role in a project. I have made a small mistake during the final release that placed the application’s release indefinitely on-hold. It was a small mistake in my opinion, but the impact of it was great in the client’s perspective. It was just a simple mistake that could have been prevented should I have paid more attention to what I was doing. It was my first leadership role, and our project has not been released! It was quite a hard blow to the shaky confidence that I was still starting to build back then.

It is that experience that led me to seriously pay more attention, especially to testing. I have made it a personal goal to always top in the bug registration count even though I am not a software tester. Because I know that testing the application is one way of perfecting it, at a given state.

I could not forget that experience, but I know that I needed it. I needed to fail because ultimately, it became my stepping stone towards changing my attitude towards work, so that I’ll be transformed from careless to careful, from unfocused to meticulous.

But at some point, that experience also rendered me afraid to make mistakes again. And the idea of failing again rendered me unable to take initiative for a while. You see, in my work, there are tasks that haven’t been done before. Many MFP operations that when executed incorrectly, could get the MFP broken.

And I was thinking to myself, “Will the failure really ruin me?” I wouldn’t know. But the fear of it was starting to, because I couldn’t finish my tasks since there were operations that I was too afraid to execute.

To err is human, they say. But as humans, we have a natural ability to deal with failure. But the fear of it, somehow sometimes, makes us settle for lower acceptance level, thereby disabling us to reach our full potential. Sometimes perfection just gets too difficult or too painful or too stressful, that we settle for the norm “good enough” and the results that come with it.

That is where the greatest danger that Michaelangelo said lies.

“The greatest danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but it’s too low and we reach it.”

-Michaelangelo

Adhering to perfection therefore is not just about not making mistakes, but completing and polishing our works to the best and highest level that it can be. However, perfectionism has such a negative connotation to most of us. So I’ve learned to redefine it through the right driving force of why we do things. As with many things, what drives us in what we do, the “why” of what we do would determine the quality of how we do it.

As a Christian, adhering to perfection (that is, being Christ-like) is not just about not committing sins, it’s about love. Love for the poor, love for your work or mission, love for your neighbor, love for God. And it is that love that will enable us to do our mission completely and excellently. Because our God and the mission that he entrusts us deserve nothing less than perfection.

At work likewise, perfect is the result of doing something that we love. Because the work that we love deserves nothing less than perfection too.

Lastly, perfectionism is an attitude developed from small things and applied to a larger job. Trying our best is not good enough. Seeking perfection is wondering what do I have to do to get better, or how do I get more polished results. Adhering to perfection means not submitting a work that would render you thinking about how you weren’t able to confirm this or that, and stress over it because it may have errors. It means submitting a work which you could proudly be confident about because you know for yourself that you have exhausted all the possibilities thinking how you can trap and correct its errors for it to be polished in the highest level that it can be.

For the record, I have broken many MFP’s, and 1 of them is broke permanently. But I have learned many more ways to troubleshoot them. I am stating this to say that I am not perfect, but adhering to. And this is a lifelong pursuit that I’m committing myself to, not just professionally, but personally.

The horror that is high blood pressure

Inday Lita's Miracle Fruit Juice - Miracle In The Bottle

All of us have our own horror stories of this disease called high blood pressure. Many people call it a lifestyle disease. It takes life in an instant, shatters dreams, breaks hope

High blood pressure with its complications takes life, shatters dreams, breaks hope.

High blood pressure is a common condition in which the long-term force of the blood against your artery walls is high enough that it may eventually cause health problems, such as heart disease.

Mayo clinic

I grow up in a hypertensive family. My late father was believed to have suffered a heart attack due to his high blood pressure. My mother is maintaining her medications for the longest time. My aunt, my neighbor, my officemate, and many more people I know have hypertension. And this disease can cause some very serious complications like heart disease which could lead to stroke, or worse, death.

The…

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When You’re Lost and You Can’t Tell Anyone

When I’m lost and weary, find me grateful.

When I’m lost and empty, find me in the middle of Your grace.

When I’m lost and helpless, find me in the beauty of Your promises.

‘Till I know, I am found by the love that carried me through.

joenasandiego.com

You are not the one in tears. You are also not the one pouring her whole heart out over broken stories. You are not the type who bravely calls in the middle of the night asking for help. You can’t be the one desperate for comfort and encouragement. You can’t be weak. You can’t be lost. You are not like her, except you are—but you can’t.

So you go back home, with a tired heart. Wishing you could also be as vulnerable as your friend. Hoping that tears and words will also come out from you easily. Wishing that you can also open up being broken and lost yet feel still utterly loved and accepted. Hoping to be that one person that you are to all others.

What to do when you’re lost and you can’t tell anyone?

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You worship. You stay where you are and let your heart…

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#1: 20 Things I Learned in My 20’s

In celebration of my 20’s years, and anticipation of the not-so-distant 30’s, I will be posting the 20 things I learned in my 20’s here in my blog. This has no timeline, but I’d like to post one regularly. So keep posted. 🙂

  1. Know your worth. Don’t derive your worth from your work or achievements. Sure, the sense of fulfillment you can get from them will give you confidence in trudging this competitive life, but you must realize that your worth is from your being. It is not what you do, but who you are. And you ain’t just anybody. You are a son/daughter of God.

Hold on a Little Longer

“Call for me. Call for your Father. Don’t work alone. It’s not by your might, not by your power, but by my Spirit.

When you don’t know what to do, kneel down in surrender.

Fight the way you used to fight. By prayers and petitions.

When nothing seems to work, worship will make a way.

Watch how I exalt the humble. Watch how I take delight in those who seek me with all their heart. Watch how I established the ways of a man as he commits his life to me and only me.

Watch as I change your heart, from a heart seeking for victories to a heart longing to be a blessing.”

joenasandiego.com

So I see that you’ve reached your end. You walked out from the fight and left everything else we worked hard for. You said that you’re going to wait but I guess the waiting is over. You grew tired. You’ve let go of my hands, of my heart, and of my leading. You lost trust in Me.

For the past few days, you stopped calling My name. But tonight, you did.

You remembered me. In fact, you shouted for me. But your words are no longer with me.

I heard you loud and clear. In tears. With a broken heart, you said, “Jesus, I don’t need you.”

When you reach your end, am I still enough?

When promises are not fulfilled, am I still enough?

When all else fails, am I still going to be enough?

I thought I’d ask you again, am I still enough?

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I know you. I know…

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Give her the miracle that she hopes for

Emma is a happy and cheerful woman despite her many illnesses. Prior to the thyroid cancer, she suffered several illnesses including stage 3 anemia and slipped disc which disables her to have a job.

But when I first met her, I never guessed nor saw her pain behind her smiles and laughter. The light in her eyes just inspires you to laugh with her. She may have indeed learned to laugh at life. Even now, when she is diagnosed with a thyroid cancer, the light in her eyes and her smiles still persist.

I am initiating this fundraising because I wouldn’t want that light to dim and that smile to fade. Because I know that there have been many times that she said to herself “I’ll be fine. I’ll be fine. I’ll be fine.” just to cover up the raging war that has been happening in her heart. Because all of us knows that cancer is scary. It hurts. It sabotages dreams and hopes that have been so beautifully put together.

So I want to fight this, with Emma as the lead. She is fighting for her health herself. And it’s a compelling thing to help someone who help herself too.

Could you join me in this battle? Let’s fight this with Emma. Let’s give her the miracle that the light in her eyes and the smile in her face hope for. ❤

You can help by buying these products found here: Fight cancer with emma

Just click the link, browse through the products offered, buy some of them 🙂 and spread the word to your friends.

I will greatly appreciate your help. May you be blessed more and more! Thank you. 🙂

Sincerely,

Louella

#342 The dots that we are

“If you are reading this, please don’t stop moving.”

Read these lines. They already read you.

I imagine us as tiny moving dots that are connected to each other and when one moves, the other one moves too. And when one stops, the other one stops. Sometimes you know the dots you are connected with and sometimes you don’t.

And some days, when you really can not move, the other dots move instead of you. And other times, when they can not move, you move with them.

I imagine us as tiny dots that are moving the Universe every single day. If you are reading this, please don’t stop moving.

Someone maybe can’t.

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God’s Awesome Love #29

So many things gone wrong today. The default reaction is to gobble up a large pack of fries. So I ordered one, and this make me smile and tear up at the same time.20171009_155239.jpg

The big Guy up there doesn’t fail in His notes of encouragement. ❤

I am having a lovely struggle (again), as all of us sure do. But through out all these, I am always reminded to still smile. 🙂

Sorry to Disappoint but Love is Unfair

He’s all about you and guess what? You’re all about Him too.

Go and love like Him. You can.

Because you have been.

joenasandiego.com

“I am willing to do everything for her. I just want her to at least appreciate that.”

“I did all that he asked me. How is it not enough yet?”

“He doesn’t pursue me anymore. I felt so loved before but he just stopped doing the little things.”

“I quit. I quit from loving you.”

Oh, dear. When the going gets tough, it doesn’t mean it’s the time to quit, not in love, not in relationships.

Love is good but love is also unfair.

For you who is in a relationship now and you’re struggling, I pray that these words will speak answers to your heart. I pray that more than saving your relationship, it would save you from drowning into your own deceiving thoughts.

Wake up, sweetheart. Listen to me, love is unfair. And the sooner you accept that imperfection, the quicker you’d see how God is working…

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